Thursday, 30 October 2014

29/10/14: BUCS Cup vs Greenwich 1s

Wednesday saw the 1st XI in the first round of the BUCS cup playing against Greenwich 1s. The team travelled all the way to the outskirts of South London to zone 4. Captain Yessennagger was sure to arrive on time, which resulted in him taking no chances with the journey, ensuring that we got to the train platform a good 45 minutes before the train was due. Nevertheless, after some very questionable chat on the train consisting of US congressmen and homoerotic sex acts the team arrived keen to invoke some revenge on the team that prevented the 2s from being promoted last season.

Unfortunately, due to the growls of the empty stomachs of the homeless, the usual team was unavailable and Captain Yssenneggar was forced to shuffle the team tragically displacing Andy “Big Gun, Goal Machine” Balme from his preferred position as striker to all the way down the pitch at left back. After warming up in the rain with the scent of burning garbage wafting in the air the match was ready to get underway.

BL started with pushback however soon after the first whistle some defensive lapses lead to a quick goal being conceded. Both teams soon settled into the match and with BL pressing forward, some sustained pressure in the offensive third resulted in a furry of short corners being won. Eventually following a bit of a scramble play in the D, the ball was dispatched calmly home by the countdown king himself. Unfortunately quickly following this play from BL unraveled into a tangled mess, which saw further mental lapses essentially hand Greenwich another 2 goals and with that the first half ended with BL looking at 2-goal deficit.

After some constructive words at half time BL came out the second half as a new team. With some newfound structure in midfield and confident transferring across the back three, BL dominated possession pushing Greenwich onto their back foot. A deserved breakthrough eventually came in the form of midfielder Tanni finding himself in unfamiliar territory in front of the goal. After a great ball from Mr. Manville, the lanky ultimate Frisbee convert was able to direct the ball (albeit somewhat awkwardly) past the goal keeper, pulling 1 goal back for the Raiders. Greenwich was unable to find a hole in the BL defense for much of the 2nd half and resorted to throwing airel after ariel in an feeble attempt to gain an offensive foothold. President Ike inexplicably felt the need to throw his stick into the air to defend against the overheads though he most likely felt that he was due for a yellow card. Regardless, BL was able to sustain the pressure and eventually Ike was able to slot home the equalizer with just under 2 minutes to play. Despite some strong pressure by the boys in black and white, as well as a deliciously worked short corner in the dying moments of the game it was clear that the match was to be settled with penalty flicks.

Former President Rufio calmly deposited his flick into the back left corner of the goal followed by current President Ike who figuratively “shat the bed” pushing his attempt just wide of the post. Captain Yssennagger coolly sent the keeper in the complete opposite direction doing his part to keep the visitors within reach, however right back Krish momentarily forgot that he was meant to put the ball in the net and his defensive half got the better of him as he beautifully cleared the ball off the back line wide of the goal. Up stepped Viagra who clinically placed his shot just under the goal keeper with the ball stopping millimeters past the goal line just to taunt the scrambling goalie. Fresher goal keeper Johnny played the shootout extremely well guessing right on 4 out of the 5 shots but was unable to keep enough out to secure BL the victory. Final score after P-flicks 4-3 to Greenwich. Looks like an hour and a half of P-flick practice in on the cards for next weeks training session.

MOM: Ash Patel (After an unexpected pint off win)  Chris Ellis, Krish Patel

DOD: President Ike for the impulse to wildly flail his stick overhead

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Lee Valley Preseason Tournament

Sunday is a day of rest for many, but not for the esteemed hockey players of Barts and the London.  Sunday fixtures come with their own tribulations of scrambling together a team and hoping for the best. However this Sunday was slightly different, as a team of established hockey players descended on Lee Valley, with the exception of some otherwise engaged members of the club, to partake in a round-robin tournament against other London universities. The tournament involved Queen Mary, University of East London, LSE, and GKT, and we were given the luxury of playing Queen Mary as our first game, at 9;30 in the morning.

Vs. Queen Mary 2nds (1st xi of QM) 1-1

The early start did not favour either team, with the push back having to be delayed due to the late arrival of a host of the BL squad. This meant warm up time was limited to a few shots on goal before push back of one of the more important games of the day. Having beaten QM 3-1 a few weeks previously, BL tails were high and the start of the mini game reflected this, with Mingey Tibs getting on the score sheet early on with his first (?) ever BL goal. The pressure on the QM goal was relentless from BL, and on the rare occasion QM broke free, the defence easily mopped the lose balls up. The pressure lasted right until the last second until “Captain Fantastic” had a mini-stroke and mistrapped a ball on the reverse stick to allow the QM centre forward a free shot on goal, which he duly dispatched. Queue relentless mocking and battery aimed at Yard Shower for the foreseeable future.

Vs. University of East London 1s 2-0

BL men carried the same relentless pressure exerted in the QM game in the game against another new rival, UEL. However this side were far more accomplished than QM and also had the BL Boys making some important last-ditch tackles. Strong performances from Randy, Burleigh, and Aquapedo kept UEL at bay. This allowed for the BL attack to exert their prowess, and Mingey Tibs to prove the old saying about buses and waiting a while for them to come, true. The first BL goal was a somewhat scrappy affair with Mingey Tibs claiming the final touch on a ball that was squirming around on the line. His second goal however, was a goal that oozed class that we have been waiting a whole year to see. Spray and Lay turning provider by hitting a sublime cross from the left hand side allowing Mingey Tibs to deflect high into the UEL net. Final score 2-0 BL win.

Vs. LSE 1s 0-4

The exertions of the previous two games combined with a long break between games and payer turning up late for push back combined to hand BL a somewhat embarrassing defeat to a team who have just been relegated to our BUCS league. However onwards and upwards as they all say.

Vs. GKT 1s 0-2

After the previously game BL were looking to really bounce back and give a good show of themselves at this tournament and with this game they certainly managed that. A combination of intense work rate, modifying our game plan when things weren’t working, and keeping hold of the ball meant that we managed to keep GKT largely at bay, which is no mean feat when you come up against a team 2 leagues above you. The two goals that GKT did score were characteristic of teams higher in the leagues: a well worked short corner, and a sublime individual goal.

Overall the tournament was a relative success for BL, coming third overall with only GKT and LSE finishing above them. This provides a fantastic platform to play the first game of the BUCS season away at Essex.

MoT: Mingey Tibs
DoT: Yard Shower for effectively handing in a transfer request to QM 2nd by gifting them a goal.


Second Preseason

BL 1s vs RVC 1s 


It began on toasty winters afternoon. The odd daring sun ray peaking yonder the clouds afront. The temperature a mild 18'C. The umpires were prompt on arrival, trousers pressed and whistles ready to be whistled. The Vetz squadron readied themselves at the stratford end, mirrored by the mighty white and black that was Barts and the London (with the exception of the asian late comers of course). TWITAWOOO (whistle sound) - '2 mins boys' howled the umpire. Balls were flung onto the sideline, tracksuits stripped and a huddle formed. '1, 2, 3, BL' shouted the somewhat podgy captain. Push back. The match commenced in the usual fashion. Hockey was played. The match ended. The score was 4 to nothing. Another BL win. Good night and God bless xxx

First Preseason


Derby Day round 1: BL Vs QM 

The stage was set. Merger cup had been a tense affair so the team was keen to put right many wrongs from the last time out. Foremost the number of cards awarded (though if that had been achieved I wouldn’t be writing this report).

However captain yardshower had a cunning plan to ensure we regained our dominance. The aforementioned plan, obviously concocted whilst partially intoxicated and watching Man utd’s preseason tour, involved the now infamous 3-4-3 formation and a change in tactics which fundamentally resembled all-out attack.

So with the stage set and our new philosophy implemented the game began to a rather surprising start. A rough pre-season version of our classic champagne hockey began to emerge as we began the game in a dominant fashion. A spray and lay opened the scoring with his and the team’s first of the season with a crisp low strike. El presidente Ike then added a second soon after with one of his trademark ‘bundled’ finishes.

Unfortunately our tempo faded with the first half and complacency due to our earlier dominance allowed for a rare opportunity to be presented to our opposition which they gleefully nudged in without quite believing their luck. From there on in the game became a tense affair with the score precariously balanced at 2-1. Though as the game entered its final throws Ike put the game to bed with his second and in doing so rounded off a fine opening performance which saw Bl beat QM 3-1.

MOM: (can’t remember) ?Barbindie
DOD: Mingey Tibs- 3 green cards for body checking defenders

Quote of the day: ‘Ike (with reference to MOM) ‘this is fucking bullshit it’s [finishing] just expected of me now’!  

Sunday, 21 September 2014

2014/15 Season

Pre-season & Training

Our regular training sessions are kicking off Monday 22nd September 6.00pm, Lee Valley Hockey and Tennis Centre, Stratford( Directions)

Joining the Club

Info below and here for subs payment.

Fresher's Try-outs

2 Trials will be held this year with the first on Monday 22nd of September (6.00pm @ Lee Valley) and the other taking place on the afternoon of Wednesday 24th September (3.15pm @ Lee Valley). All abilities welcome.

First Tables

With the Fresher's Trials also comes the first tables of the academic year in the Union, heading straight from the pitch to the bar, so bring along a towel and change of clothes to the Wednesday, Sept 24th trials.

Pre-season Fixtures

1st XI Pre-season Fixtures

  • Oct 1st vs QM 1s @ Lee Valley
  • Oct 5th vs RUMS 1s @ Away
  • Oct 8th vs RVC 1s @ Lee Valley

2nd XI Pre-Season Fixtures
  • Oct 1st vs GKT 2s @ Away
  • Oct 8th vs BL Women's 1s @ Lee Valley

Saturday, 12 October 2013

1st XI Pre Season Vs St Georges

Another pre-season fixture saw another decisive loss on the field followed by a decisive win in the bar after. A slightly depleted 1st XI squad were joined by a few of the available 2nd XI players to face up to Georges, initial structure and form showed promise but with an element of randomness of the re shuffle throughout the game, fatigue and confusion set in, especially affecting one of the defenders in particular, who has the honour as DOD of writing this match report.

Friday, 4 October 2013

1st XI Pre-season vs GKT 1st XI

The 1st XI ventured across the Thames for their first pre-season game against GKT 1st XI, it was set to be a tough match with Jaime Farr trying on the keepers pads for the second time in his life and injuries and absences leaving the midfield a little under populated. An early goal from GKT was soon equalised with a craftily placed slap from Mr Pattinson. These first two early goals were followed by six more, unfortunately all were in favour of GKT. Resolute to show GKT what BLHC truly excels in the 1st XI were joined by the 2nd XI to form a ten man boat race, after Andy Balme gloriously doused himself in the final portion of his pint, the remaining nine successfully saw off their beverages in style to smash the GKT team, leaving BL with a decisive victory in the most important event of the day.